Baseball Coaches and Uniforms: A Hackneyed Tradition

It’s something my girlfriend and mother mockingly have pointed out throughout my playing career, and for me, it’s a sensitive issue that cheapens and belittles the game of baseball: Why is it necessary that baseball coaches wear uniforms? Not a single other sport has a similar sartorial dilemma. Imagine Stan Van Gundy, George Karl or Don Nelson pacing the sidelines in the sleeveless tanktop and baggy shorts that comprise a basketball uniform. Disturbing? Likewise, picture puny egghead Bill Belichick in full pads; he’d make Stephen Gostkowski look like Ray Lewis. These examples are absurd to the point of humor, but are they all that different from the prospect that baseball coaches don their team’s full uniform?

The baseball uniform typically does not flatter bulgy, corpulent physiques. While Major League Baseball hardly stakes its reputation on the BMI of its players (see: Cecil Fielder, C.C. Sabbathia, Mike LaValliere and David Wells) fans should be pardoned from having to look at old saggy coaches whose bulging features are hardly concealed by tight fitting polyester. Not to mention the whole proposition is just plain pathetic. Are these guys attempting to recapture their playing days? The uniforms only serve to emphasize their complete lack of athleticism (see: Lasorda, Tommy, 2001 All Star Game).

Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland still wears spikes in the dugout. This is a guy who is famous for sneaking into the walkway between the locker room and the dugout during games to rip Camel Lights. I can hardly think of a worse slight to the game. Granted, Mickey Mantle and the greats of yesteryear were known to puff on cigarettes in the dugout, but baseball has long combated a reputation of being a sport for out-of-shape white guys. Throwing and hitting a good fastball are two of the most difficult tasks in all of athletics and yet the game still suffers from a lingering reputation that is certainly not helped by the spectacle of an unathletic manager moseying out to the mound in full uniform, belly bouncing over a belt buckled on the very last notch.

I can somewhat appreciate the tradition involved with Major League coaches wearing uniforms, a convention possibly hearkening back to the days of player-coaches. But why must disheveled, overweight coaches in the middle school and JV ranks continue to disgrace their dugouts? Take a page out of Terry Francona's book and wear a pullover instead of a numbered top. And are khaki pants really out of the question? Let’s be honest, the situation at hand could be much worse (thankfully, the Bike coaching shorts of the 1970s have phased out) but please, can we do away with this one ridiculous aspect of our nation’s pastime?